Senior Living

‘Tis the holiday season, the time of year that we spend time with our loved ones, young and old, sharing in traditions, good company, and counting our many blessings. With so many holiday parties and events this month, there’s plenty of holiday cheer to spread around. Unfortunately for many seniors, however, the holidays can also bring about feelings of loss, sadness and loneliness. In order to avoid isolation, depression and to ensure that the holiday season is merry and bright for all, it’s important to keep our elders in mind and to do what we can for those in our community.

“Love and compassion are important for seniors to feel every day of the year, but especially during the holiday season,” says Amy Fish, Administrator at Lancaster Rehabilitation Center (lancasterrc.com). “Memories made during the holiday season last forever and are important for seniors to continue to experience. The holidays seem to be overbooked with parties and activities, so it’s important to plan in advance to make that special time happen. Particularly for those who want to volunteer during the holidays, offering to assist seniors with their travel needs or just stopping by to pass the time are kind gestures.

The Lancaster Rehabilitation team has created a calendar packed full of carolers, cookies and Claus this holiday season!  We offer a variety of events and socials to keep the holidays merry and bright.  The Lancaster Rehabilitation family is thankful for the many community volunteers who give of their time, talents, and monetary donations to ensure our residents have gifts to open Christmas day.  Together we continue to make memorable moments happen on our campus.”

Lancaster Rehabilitation Center’s Life Enrichment Director Kallin Niemeyer adds, “Volunteers provide seniors the companionship that is absolutely irreplaceable. For those who may not have many family members, or family members living close, our volunteers become family. Volunteers also provide religious services, music, and other entertainment during the holiday season. Here at Lancaster Rehab, we have opportunities for volunteers to assist in activities (large and small), provide personal visits with residents, carol/sing, and provide other entertainment and companionship during the month of December.

The first step for anyone who is interested in volunteering is to simply contact the organization that they are interested in extending their services to. At Lancaster Rehab, prospective volunteers can call or email the facility and express interest in opportunities. The appropriate contact will be notified to help the volunteer get started as soon as they would like. It’s truly important to remember that you’re more than a ‘volunteer’ when you’re working with seniors. You’re a companion, a friend, and even a family member to those you’re working with. You help enhance the quality of life for seniors and your services are priceless.”

There are a few other key concerns for seniors during the holidays, which make it one of the best times of the year to catch up and to make sure that all is well. Fish advises, “The cold and dangers of winter can isolate seniors, making simple tasks more difficult.  It is important to lean on the many resources our community offers to seniors every day, including things like the Meals on Wheels program and home health care services.  At Lancaster Rehabilitation we also offer short term respite stays, where seniors can take up temporary residence until spring arrives.  That way, they get all the comforts of home, plus an actively engaged activity program and delicious home-cooked meals!

Furthermore, it’s important to keep in mind that when visits with loved ones are limited to one or two times per year, the physical and cognitive signs of decline in overall health may be more apparent than to those who visit routinely.  You may notice hygiene concerns or medications that appear to be mismanaged.  There may be a lack of fresh food available, or a withdrawal in conversation on topics that used to interest them. If you notice these sorts of concerns there are a variety of senior services available in the community that can step in to help.  Services ranging from chore duty assistance all the way through to care in a skilled nursing center are all available to seniors in our community.  Family members just need to determine what the most appropriate support for their current situation, and determine what works for their current and future needs.”

Jenny Cownie of Legacy Estates (www.legacyretirement.com) also offers some great ways to share in the holiday spirit:

“Make sure to include seniors in family gatherings if at all possible, even if it means bringing the family gathering to them.  Aside from that, find things for your loved one to do to feel involved and special.  As one example, you could have them come home for the day and help decorate or bake.  It’s also important to share family traditions or stories together.  Have them write down or tell their memories of the holidays when they were young.  Seniors have a lot to share and it is priceless to have those stories to share through the years and generations.

Sadly, there are many seniors who won’t be able to celebrate the holidays with their families this year. We want to make sure that our residents don’t feel left out over the holidays. We partner with different local agencies that contact us during the holiday season to offer help and ensure that those without family and friends to visit don’t go it alone.  Lincoln has such a wonderful support system for our seniors and it is amazing the how many people in our community want to help around the holidays.  Some of our own residents also volunteer to do things for the less fortunate in our Lincoln and surrounding communities.  Fundraising for Operations Santa Claus and Angel Tree are two of the neat things that they participate in.  By doing this it helps them feel that they are still able to do something to help others.

During the holidays the volunteer opportunities are abundant with holiday music programs, plays, concerts, holiday light tours, and bringing in outside entertainment. Many are local school choirs that come to share the holiday spirit.  The residents really enjoy seeing the younger generation.   Our activities and enrichment staff go above and beyond to make sure that residents enjoy the holiday season.  They offer free gift wrapping or writing out holiday cards or even helping a resident shop for a loved one.  They go out of their way to take the stress out of the holidays for our residents.

She adds, “As families come for the holiday’s we encourage them to make sure their loved ones have the proper cold weather wear.  But most importantly we want families to take the time to visit with their family member and make them feel loved and special.  The holidays can be a very hard time for not only seniors but many.  Make it the happiest and best for them while spending quality time with them.  We can all learn so much from our seniors.”

“There are no words to accurately describe the impact volunteers can have on the quality of life for our seniors,” further emphasizes Courtney Schmitz, MS, CTRS, CDP, Life Enrichment Coordinator at Sumner Place (www.sumnerplacecare.com) . “Volunteers’ efforts are so meaningful because it comes from the heart and not a paycheck or other type of extrinsic motivation.  Having volunteers at Sumner Place creates a homelike environment where friends are welcome and relationships are made with not only the residents but with team members and families as well.  The holiday season brings such wonderful opportunities for others to volunteer and spread love and compassion.

Holidays can unfortunately bring some unpleasant emotions for some of our residents who are unable to cook that holiday meal, prepare their home for their family to visit, or even to be with their family on these special days.  Some of these opportunities include but are not limited to singing Christmas carols, visiting with residents, assisting in upcoming holiday events planned by our Life Enrichment team, making Christmas cards for the residents, assisting a resident with writing Christmas cards to others, etc.  The list is endless!  If someone would like to get involved and volunteer sometime at Sumner Place, please contact me to discuss the opportunities that are available.  Sharing your time and heart is one of the best Christmas presents our residents could ever receive!”

“The holidays can be a difficult time of the year for seniors living in a retirement community,” agrees Roxann Rogers-Meyer of The Landing at Williamsburg Village, an Immanuel Community (www.immanuelcommunities.com) . “They may not have family close by to celebrate the holidays and that may bring up feelings of loneliness and isolation during a time that should be filled with joy and anticipation. Immanuel Communities recognizes these feelings and plans plenty of activities and events to involve our residents.

The Landing at Williamsburg Village has a full calendar of events in December.  The halls are alive with holiday music. Residents will enjoy a performance by the Southeast High School Singers, a concert by The Lincoln Continentals and Billy Troy will perform Christmas music. The Silver Chords will also be at The Landing for a concert.

Special worship services are planned as a time for residents to gather as a group dedicated to building and nourishing a strong community and celebrating the Christmas season as a community.  All of our activities and events are designed for our residents and their families to create a sense of community during this special time of the year.”

Katie Hammer of The Waterford Communities (www.thewaterford.net) provides helpful tips for seniors and their loved ones, particularly during the holidays, as well as some great ways to get involved:

“The holiday season should be a joyful and uplifting time of year when people gather to enjoy the company and memories of family and friends. At The Waterford Communities we know the importance of seniors not feeling isolated, lonely or left out during winter months and the holidays because this can lead to depression. Depression is a medical condition that can be treated once it is recognized and properly diagnosed.

The Waterford Communities would like to offer a few ideas and helpful suggestions to make the holiday season less stressful for your loved one.

• Stay Connected: Staying in contact and making visits when possible is especially important during the holidays so they don’t feel like they are all alone.

• Plan Ahead: If your loved one tends to tire easily or becomes overstimulated quickly, try limiting the amount of time they are participating in an activity or limit the number of activities they are involved in. Also, schedule a time for them to lie down and rest so they don’t become so exhausted.

• Visit Memory Lane: “Leading authorities have observed that memory and ‘life review’ are important parts of the aging process,” says Barry Lebowitz, Ph.D., deputy director of UCSD’s Stein Institute for Research on Aging. You can use old pictures and home videos to encourage your loved ones to share stories from the past.

• Help: Ask if they would like help addressing envelopes to mail out holiday cards so they can keep in touch with old friends and family.

At The Waterford Communities we have found that having volunteers, especially during the holidays, also play a very important role in the quality of life for our residents. Having a volunteer allows the residents to have someone to talk to one-on-one or in groups that isn’t staff. This is especially important if the person doesn’t have family or friends that are able to visit. A volunteer is also able to share stories with the residents from a different perspective.

The Waterford Communities’ College View location offers several activities and events during the holiday season for all of our residents. Lincoln Public Schools arranges for one of their choirs to come into our facility and put on a holiday performance; the VA comes in and delivers gifts to all of our veterans; the Salvation Army delivers presents every year for all of our residents; and a church does a special Christmas service for our residents. Also during the holiday season our activity director arranges a Christmas party for all of the residents to participate in; she has a family member volunteer to come in and do special Christmas crafts with the residents; she reads The Night Before Christmas on Christmas Eve to the residents; and she also arranges a New Year’s Eve party. Having all these activities and events going on during the holidays really helps keep our residents in good spirits and allows them to enjoy the holidays without feeling alone or down.”

For those who will be visiting their senior loved ones this holiday season, Hammer also points out the importance of paying attention to their quality of life. “It is sometimes more difficult for family members who see their senior relatives often to see warning signs of declining health. So oftentimes it tends to be family members who are traveling in from out of state or who visit infrequently who will notice if there is a decline in health. With the holidays approaching, The Waterford Communities would like to offer a few warning signs to watch for as you will likely be visiting senior family members and loved ones.

• Cleanliness of the Home: Mildew, insects, or rotting leftovers in the fridge are signs to be aware of.

• Personal Hygiene: If your loved one isn’t bathing regularly or as often as they used to it could be because they aren’t able to on their own anymore or they are forgetting they need to bathe.

• Mismanagement of Medications: They aren’t taking them properly or taking them at all.

• Forgetfulness: Occasional forgetfulness is ok and normal; however, frequent memory lapses could indicate the onset of dementia and Alzheimer’s.

• Activity Level: They aren’t as active and social with loved ones as they used to be.

The Waterford Communities are available to answer any questions you may have regarding the warning signs of declining health or questions about our services and facilities.”

Alyssa Christensen, Volunteer Coordinator | Bereavement Coordinator at Hospice Community Care of Nebraska (www.hospicecarenebraska.com) also offers some insights for those who will be sharing the holidays with their senior loved ones.

“Allowing seniors to keep traditions that are important to them alive is essential, along with making sure they feel that they are not forgotten and still play a vital role in the family. I think a big thing is still sending them cards and calling them especially if a visit can’t be made.  For those who are able to spend the holidays together, be mindful that your senior loved ones still have a say in the planning of the holiday events and encourage them to tell stories about their favorite holiday moments.

If family member is living in an apartment setting, ensure that their room is decorated and that they have holiday events going on that the senior can attend.  If they live at home, encouraging those near them to take them out to do holiday activities around town and include them on projects that happen around this time.

Over the years families are in constant change which makes holidays become different and adjustments must be made. Not having Christmas on the actual day or new family members in the picture are a couple of key examples.  My suggestion is to be comfortable with the change, but to keep at least one tradition alive for those of the older generation.  Allow them to feel that the traditions they started are important and that it is fun to walk down memory lane!

The holidays are also a great time to check up on senior relatives, especially those you have not seen for some time.  Just to check up on health decline, look at their safety when it comes to mobility.  See if their living arrangements are adaptable to their current life situation.  Understand if they know what is going on in their life and surroundings.  Sometimes coming back for holidays you can notice a significant change in your loved one; make sure you are familiar with the different resources that may be needed to help them continue to live a productive life.”

She adds, “Volunteers are one of the most integral parts of senior care, especially in terms of Hospice.  They provide companionship and encouragement during the journey.  I always encourage our volunteers to spend extra time with their patients during the holiday season, especially those that families do not live near.  Help them write Christmas cards, play music, bring their favorite holiday treats, reminisce about past traditions.  Hospice Community Care is always looking for volunteers to provide companionship to our patients and if interested they can contact me at (402) 328-2350. Moreover we are always looking for senior volunteers to be Hospice Volunteers, as they are able to create a connection to our patients that sometimes a younger generation may not be able to do. They key piece of advice I would offer to those interested in volunteering is that they allow seniors to guide the relationship and give them the opportunity to feel like they still have a purpose and are valuable.  It’s important that we all still have the opportunity to live their dreams and discuss our life experiences, no matter our age.”

When it comes to evaluating your loved one’s wellbeing during a holiday visit, one of the most common things noticed is a decline in hearing ability.

“Hearing health and having good communication plans is important to reduce feelings of isolation, advises John Wyvill, Executive Director of the Nebraska Commission for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing (www.ncdhh.ne.gov) . “Most people don’t know that 1 out of 3 over the age of 65 have some form of hearing loss and 1 out of 2 over the age of 85.   Age-related hearing loss can be a result of family history, repeated exposure to loud noise like farm equipment, or even smoking.  In fact, most people don’t know that smokers are more likely to have hearing loss than non-smokers. Certain medicines may also cause hearing loss.

Key signs for hearing loss include asking others to repeat what is said. You may think that someone is mumbling or not speaking clearly, and family members may repeatedly ask if your hearing is okay. The radio or TV is louder than normal, you need to lean forward to or turn your head to hear better, or there may be ringing or buzzing in your ears. If these signs appear, it is recommended to have a hearing test. Hearing loss can be treated by medical professionals by removing ear wax or an object from the ear; fitting hearing aids; incorporating amplified devices such as phones, door bells, and alarm clocks; prescribing antibiotics for ear infections; or surgery is an option in some cases.

Good hearing health includes having regular hearing exams, using hearing protection when exposed to loud sound such as kids or music, controlling the volume on radios and TVs, and if you use hearing aids all the time, making sure that you have them checked out every six months.  Also, be sure to wear ear plugs or protection when using loud equipment like vacuum cleaners, lawn mowers, snow blowers, power equipment, and hunting devices.

Noises and confusion of family gatherings for a person with hearing loss can lead to irritability or exhaustion so plan ahead for breaks or quiet time. Avoid embarrassing moments by making sure everyone is aware of hearing loss, be inclusive and reach out. Hearing loss increases isolation and feeling of loneliness which is difficult for anyone to deal with.  Helen Keller once said that ‘being blind cuts you off from things, being deaf cuts you off from people’.  With this in mind don’t lose sight of family member’s special needs in the shuffle of family gatherings.   Remember to be aware of the situation, be loving and plan ahead.”

He adds, “Seniors, remember that family and friends can help you.   Tell them about your hearing loss to make it easier to communicate, ask them to face you when they talk to you, ask them to speak louder but to avoid shouting and to speak clearly but not slower. Also, make an effort to turn off the TV and radio if it is not being actively listened to.   Background noise will make it harder to hear other people talk, especially with groups gathered together during the holiday season.”

“Protecting your hearing is very important,” further emphasizes Leslie Frank, Audiologist and owner of the Nebraska Hearing Center (www.nebraskahearingcenter.com) . “Annual testing is important as well.  This sets a baseline for monitoring your hearing on an annual basis.

Common signs to look for regarding hearing loss are:

*Your loved one can hear loud sounds but can’t understand conversations.

*They overuse the word “what.”

* The TV is too loud for others.

*They have trouble understanding a conversation in a noisy environment, like a restaurant.

*They have ringing in their ears.

If you notice a hearing issue, ask your loved one ‘When was the last time you had a hearing test?’  At Nebraska Hearing Center, we provide free hearing evaluations because we believe in prevention and monitoring your hearing from year to year.  It is truly as important as any other annual exam. Our goal is to educate you on your hearing so that you are able make an informed decision.”

Today’s hearing aids are not like your Grandma’s.  Technology has tremendously advanced with respect to these devices.  “Our clients are getting younger and demand discreet aids, which are available,” states Leslie. Nebraska Hearing Center also offers aids that can stream from your phone. The new technology greatly enhances the experience of hearing aid wearers.

The discussion can be as easy as urging an annual hearing evaluation to be part of their normal healthcare routine, which again is free of charge at Nebraska Hearing Center.  You don’t want your loved ones missing out on those important family times.

“Furthermore, most seniors look forward to gatherings with friends and family,” states Leslie.  “Why not be an active participant and enjoy those gatherings?  If aids can make life more enjoyable, it is worth the investment.”

As previously addressed, there are many opportunities to evaluate the health and wellbeing of our senior loved ones when we gather together during the holidays. As this may in fact be the only time of the year where many if not all of our immediate family members are together in the same place, it can also be an ideal time to discuss other important issues that will have a major impact on everyone.

“The most important conversations we need to have with our older adults are often the most difficult,” says Laurie McAdams, Family Service Representative at Butherus, Maser & Love Funeral Home (www.bmlfh.com) . “Those decisions being made are as varied as the individuals we are dealing with. Should Dad still be driving? Are Mom and Dad living in an environment in which they are safe and still have the ability to care for their everyday needs? When might it be appropriate to move from the family home into a smaller place or assisted living facility?

At least one person (either a trusted family member or friend) needs to have legal rights such as Power of Attorney before death or Personal Representative after death occurs.  Often it is best to have an objective 3rd party fill this role instead of selecting one child over another.  It is also helpful to have that someone’s name on financial, car and home documents. But talking to your parents doesn’t have to be about money and healthcare alone. Deep personal values and truths should also be shared. What is important to them during their lives? How do they feel about the afterlife? What legacy do they want to live on when they are no longer here?  We would be happy to get them started with an ‘Ethical Will’ template.

The most important reason to talk to your parents about money and final wishes is to be prepared for death. Accidents can and do happen and you never know when their final wishes will need to be fulfilled. If you talk to them before someone is sick or dying it makes things much easier. It will allow the family to grieve in their own manner and at their own pace without the myriad of decisions that need to be made occupying their time.

We at the funeral home, of course serve all ages of individuals. However, most of the people are of the age when they have already begun to think about the end of life issues.   Anyone who works in the funeral industry will tell you that people very often will be at their very worst after the death of a loved one. It is so much easier if the family has made decisions in advance. We have seen so many family members have severe disagreements in how to handle the services for Mom or Dad.  Conversely, if everything is arranged and there is simply a checklist of items to verify with the survivors, the usual response is, ‘Whatever they wanted is fine.’

I often tell clients my own personal story as a good example of this. My dad died very suddenly and so my mom came in and planned and paid for everything for her own service without letting my sisters or myself know. My sisters and I sat across the table from the funeral director following her death and he said, ‘Well I hope this doesn’t upset you, but your mother planned pretty much every aspect of her funeral. She picked casket, her songs, the Bible verses that she wanted to be read, clothes and what jewelry she wanted to be buried with her. About all you ‘get’ to decide is what you’d like to serve for the luncheon.’ This allowed us to just be together and love each other as a family. It was truly the best gift that she ever gave to her children!”

She continues, “Many of us think that we need to keep the holidays ‘light’ and joyful. But if we use this time when everyone is together, no one has to feel overly burdened by making these decisions alone. If we start the discussions early you can take advantage of talking about a newspaper article that someone read or another friend or relative’s illness or death.

Remember that the opening of these conversations is the hardest part and quite frankly it is usually harder for the person bringing up the topic rather than the older adult. Believe me, they have thought about this as they age. You need to remember to give your parents control. Open with, ‘I want to make sure to do things exactly as you want them done.’ This puts them in a position of power and control, and helps them express their final wishes.  We repeatedly see people expressing their relief and satisfaction after finally putting these decisions behind them.”

“Planning early and maintaining your estate plan and/or will, financial affairs, healthcare wishes, and end of life plans are essential, agrees Jodi Freeman of Roper & Sons Funeral Care (www.roperandsons.com).  “As we age and our lives change, so do our priorities.  Plans made in prior years may change for a number of reasons, therefore keeping them up-to-date is key.  It is also essential to plan for these things when our mental capacity is strong, because once we begin to decline, both mentally and physically, proper planning can become a challenge. Besides being challenging, questions about mental or physical capacity can draw criticism and concerns about the validity of your plans, potentially leading to arguments and disregard of the plans, and even legal implications.

Having discussions about end of life plans can be difficult and awkward at any time, however, they are critical.  It is very important that loved ones know the details of your estate and funeral plans, including where those plans are located, who your attorney is, what your healthcare wishes are, including how critical illness and the end of life should be managed, and which funeral home you wish to use and all of the plans you have in place regarding a funeral or memorial service.  Your estate plan, your healthcare, and your end of life choices are yours, but we do encourage you to seek input from your loved ones when it is appropriate.  .  Oftentimes, holidays are the only time families are together, therefore become the most logical time to have a discussion that allows everyone to have their wishes heard.

One mistake we commonly see at Roper & Sons is not planning for your end of life decisions, or assuming that your family is willing and able to take care of your final arrangements.  Life is unpredictable – we always tend to think “oh, I have plenty of time”, until one day, we don’t.  It is very difficult to think about our end of life decisions, without a doubt.  However, it is even more difficult for families in the midst of the greatest loss.  We strongly encourage everyone to make their final wishes known, through pre-planning at a funeral home.  Planning truly is one of the best ways you can give your loved ones the gift of peace of mind.”

This month, no matter what you have planned for the holidays, how long your to-do list is, how jam-packed your schedule may be, or how many directions you’re pulled in, consider spreading some love and holiday cheer to the seniors in our community. There are plenty of opportunities to get involved and to volunteer your time and talents to make a difference in the lives of those who may not have anyone to share the holidays with.  After all, in the true spirit of the holidays it’s much better to give than to receive. Of course, take the time to show your senior loved ones how special they are too! Taking full advantage of the time spent together making memories, reminiscing about the past and planning for the future will make the holiday season that much more enjoyable for all.