It’s Not Too Late – and It’s Important!

This is a short story of one of those topics that (to quote Col Nathan Jessup) “deep down in places we don’t talk about at parties” – to be specific, mental health and burnout!

A man was invited to speak at a private event. It was small, off the radar, and awkwardly intimate. No social posts. No cameras. No agenda. Only curiosity. He didn’t expect it to unfold like it did.

The people in the room weren’t just accomplished; they were exceptional. They had spent the last 20 years building all they had. They had dedicated their life to a single profession, industry, business or boss.

The rewards were obvious – titles, image, wealth, reputation and the spoils of a life that checked every box success promised to deliver.
These were entrepreneurs. These were the ones everyone else leaned on. Doers. Problem solvers. Steady hands in high-stakes situations. Their business, their employees and their families relied on them. But for the first time in their life, the future didn’t seem so clear, there was a bit less “joy in Mudville” and they didn’t know WHY. Or even less clear – was where – or who to go to find out.

It wasn’t that they truly didn’t want their success to continue – they were just exhausted! Not from the hours—from the pretending. Pretending they still wanted what they had spent 20 years building. Pretending that they still had the energy and the drive to continue to do what they’d been doing. Pretending they weren’t exhausted of everything depending on them.

As he spoke, most hung to every word. His job was easy—all he had to do was tell them who he saw as he looked at each of them.

Halfway through his ramble, making eye contact with each, he stopped and asked a question.

Who have you told?

Four words, and the room went dead quiet.

Some told their spouse, but not everything.

Some told a friend, but it wasn’t a real conversation – it was the golf course on the tee-box of #12.

Some told a colleague, but it was a bitch session.

Most hadn’t told anyone.

But by being there, they were telling him.

People like this—people like you, people like me — carry it. We hide it because we solve problems, not create them. Because we have so many people depending on us that acknowledging doubts or acknowledging we’re tired – and we just don’t do that.

But the people in that room were not the people the speaker was worried about. True, the people in that room had not found a tribe, but they were there. He had their attention and they were listening. They were listening which was a great start. And they shared how that felt.

But what about the people who never raise their hand and who never share how they feel with anyone. Perhaps the ones reading this – and wondering how they can relieve the pressure – and do it a way that doesn’t wreck their image.

The ones who are drowning and don’t know what to do about it.

He could tell the audience was waiting for the pitch – what was the speaker “selling” that day?

He told them very simply – What am I selling is YOU. I’m selling you and I’m asking for you to buy yourself back—to you. Buy yourself space.

A space where you get to feel like you again.

A space where you don’t have to hide.

A space where your title, at work, means nothing to me.

A space where you have an answer to: “Who have you told?”

The price of never admitting this note found you when you needed it will cost you the best years of your life.

Two of can make a tribe…

A tribe others will seek.

So tell someone.

Find your tribe.

This is your sign.

This is your start.

Note – The essence of this article is based on a social media post by Lou Stroschein, founder of Normal 40.