As our parents age, it often times falls upon us, the children, to take care of their health. Some aging parents are only in need of help with strenuous chores as they naturally progress to the age where these tasks are no longer possible or safe to accomplish on their own. Other seniors will experience more serious health problems, whether that is physical health, emotional health or mental health, that requires a higher level of care. When this happens, it’s easy for us to take on most of the work ourselves as we feel the responsibility should be ours and ours alone. However, this is unfair to both ourselves, our families and other responsibilities and even our parents themselves as they deserve the educated and skilled care that can only be given by professionals in their industries.
If you have reached the age where you are already experiencing these issues or if you just want to take some precautionary methods now to ensure your senior loved ones’ continued health, the key is to reach out to the professionals. Fortunately, we have a wealth of resources on eldercare in the Lincoln area and they are available to help you no matter what level of need you are experiencing.
Living Environment
“Just like anyone, if you love your home and enjoy your environment it will generate an all-around sense of wellbeing for the individual,” says Sara Engelhaupt with The Lexington. “It seems especially important when choosing a long-term care facility for a senior who has been living in one place for many years. It can be such a change from their own home that it is imperative that the individual likes and feels comfortable at any community they may be moving into.”
“A living environment has the potential to affect anyone’s emotional, physical, and social health,” explains Amy Fish with Gateway Senior Living. “This tends to be exaggerated for seniors. The environmental structure at Gateway Senior Living allows for ease in locomotion throughout the campus. A centrally located elevator, easy to understand signage, appropriate lighting, and easy to use temperature control systems all contribute to stress free living. When seniors are faced to make their way through meandering corridors, unclear signage, or systems that are too difficult to operate, this frustration can put them at risk for physical or emotional duress. A living environment should instead be easy to maneuver about, with appropriate lighting, and ease of use in the space. This should also include visually stimulating and pleasing décor which promotes the interests important to the senior, while providing them comfort and enjoyment.”
“Living environment can have a profound effect on one’s health,” reiterates Greg Joyce with Legacy Retirement. “Among the different physical needs that may impact quality of life such as meals and dining, housekeeping, home upkeep, etc., there are other very significant mental, intellectual, social and spiritual needs to be considered. Social engagement and mental stimulation are critical to mental and intellectual wellness. Having ample social and intellectual opportunities can allow seniors to continue to be engaged and connected and stay active both mentally and physically.”
Staying in the Home
“It is much easier to go through life with familiar, comfortable surroundings and amenities,” comments Robbie Nathan with Care Consultants for the Aging. “Every time a senior moves, it affects them both physically and mentally. It is important to remember that a home be safe, however, if the choice is made for the senior to remain there. This can be done with the help of a service that provides in home care. Anxiety escalates when there are changes, especially if that senior is not capable of adapting quickly. Light switches are in different places, heating and cooling units make strange noises, the back and forth routine of neighbors differs. A senior can easily become fearful of new neighbors and surroundings if not given time and sometimes assistance to adapt to new surroundings. Home Health is that piece that can offer peace of mind and an easy transition, if even for a few days and short amounts of time.”
“Being a ‘parent’ to your parent is a difficult transition that many of us are faced with today,” says Pam Carlson with The Waterford. “It is important to begin this journey together with your parent so they have the ability to express their wishes. Involving your parent or loved one as much as you can BEFORE a crisis hits will ease the burden. Start today and visit about their wishes. Explore independent living, assisting living, home health and skilled nursing services. It’s never too early to begin planning for the future ‘what ifs’.”
Determining When a Change Needs to be Made
“Simply ‘dropping in’ occasionally and noticing changes doesn’t always mean it’s time for a move,” explains Robbie Nathan with Care Consultants for the Aging. “Children need consistent contact with parents, preferably daily, whether by phone or in person. If they cannot be in proximity of their parents, it is a good idea to establish relationships with neighbors and friends and to also let those people know they want to be informed if there are changes or concerns. Having a consistent caregiver from a home health service even once a week would also form a good means of communications. Noticeable changes that are concerning are: increased difficulty in simply doing laundry and dishes; a fear of falling when showering or walking; forgetting to turn off the stove or lights; missing appointments; a loss of weight and no interest in cooking or grocery shopping and less interest in friends and activities. If outside help such as home health is not affordable or available, it’s time to look at an alternate living option.”
Amy Fish with Gateway Senior adds, “An easy determinant is when things become too physically difficult to complete within their current setting: such things as having to use stairs to accomplish everyday tasks like doing laundry, accessing outdoor areas, or getting to a bedroom or bathroom. Transportation difficulties are another common determinant that a change is necessary. With a lack of transportation to do the things they once enjoyed, there is a risk of becoming socially isolated and thus affecting their whole wellbeing. Changes in their ability to cook or perform what most would consider everyday chores around the house are other indicators that a change might be necessary.”
Greg Joyce with Legacy Retirement had this to add: “I won’t name specific warning signs, but I will add that proper nutrition, exercise, social engagement, intellectual engagement and mental stimulation are vital for the health of any person of any age. These needs do not go away with age, however sometimes the availability and/or opportunity for some of these components can become challenging for seniors to continue to enjoy on a daily basis. When any of these needs are left unfulfilled it can certainly lead to decline.”
If you do see warning signs, it’s important to approach the idea of moving with your loved one in the correct manner. “Above all, don’t rush your parents,” advises Robbie Nathan with Care Consultants for the Aging. “As long as they are able to be a part of the decision, allow them to do so.”
Benefits of Retirement Communities
“Seniors thrive in independent living communities due to increased opportunities to exercise, socialize and participate in active living,” explains Janette Drohman, Lifestyle Director at Savannah Pines. “Populated by individuals who are committed to living life to the fullest, independent living communities encourage residents to participate in exercise programs and social activities that provide the foundation for a quality retirement lifestyle.”
“Those considering the move to an independent living community will be interested to learn that the American College of Sports Medicine (ACSM) has focused on the theme “Exercise as Medicine” since 2008,” continues Janette. “In short, exercise, and the socializing that often accompanies heart, health and wellness activities is the most potent and side-effect-free medicine available.
Exercise positively affects every aspect of the body, mind and, yes, spirit. Our residents enjoy participating in exercises through our numerous fitness programs including water aerobics, dance aerobics, weight lifting, walking club, sittercises, stretching, and Wii Sports.”
“One of the most important factors in aging successfully is social connectivity,” adds Karla Frese with Savannah Pines. “Living alone in one’s home often limits their socialization opportunities, which leads to faster decline. Those who live alone in their own homes must also cope with grocery shopping, home maintenance, cleaning, daily responsibilities, etc. At Savannah Pines, these items are all provided for or handled by the community. Socialization, security and peace of mind are important benefits of Savannah Pines.
Socializing not only contributes to a longer, happier life, but it also improves cognitive performance. Of course, we all want to live longer while remaining healthy and alert. Adding a circle of new friends and a support group at Savannah Pines will help enrich your loved one’s life in innumerable ways.”
“At Legacy Retirement Communities we strive to make each day of our residents’ lives better than the day before,” says Greg Joyce Legacy Retirement. “We want every day to be your ‘best day’. Each individual has unique needs and wants so we are constantly striving to provide the absolute best in every service and amenity that we offer and we pay special attention to detail. We have an extreme eye for detail, and we are constantly seeking ways to improve and continually raise the bar. Whether it is fine dining, social opportunities, day trips, activities, personal care or personal services, we aim to be the very best in all that we do. And it is our relentless pursuit of excellence in this manner that allows us to improve and benefit the lives of our residents.”
“One of the goals at Savannah Pines is to help seniors realize they are alive, and active, and they still have life to live,” states Karla Frese. “We encourage our residents to imaging what they want to do for their 100th birthday. It is a brilliant exercise that gets people thinking about the future, and that they do have life to live yet. The odds of making it to that birthday increase on a large scale when they are in a community with their needs met versus staying at home along.
Have you ever thought about your 100th birthday? What do you want to do, who should you invite, etc.? It is a big milestone that leads seniors into a wonderful psychology of hope. It is about active living in your senior years.”
Choosing Where to Go
“Start the discussion planning early,” says Amy Fish with Gateway Senior Living. “You don’t want to wait until a crisis develops to begin your search for the perfect retirement community for your parent(s). Keep your parent(s) actively involved in the discussions, tours, and selection. Know and understand their financial status so you may assist with helping facilitate any necessary financial assistance programs. Children will generally help weigh the positives and negatives of different housing options, assist with the actual move, help with the transfer of any important information, and most importantly help with the overall adjustment to a new living environment. The team at Gateway Senior Living believes that we must be a resource for seniors on the various options of senior living. As experts in the field, we are able to assist seniors with understanding the various requirements of admission, helping to understand insurance policy information, and guide them toward the services that best fit their expectations or need. Then, once a decision is made, helping them make the move and transition as smooth as possible is part of our job.”
Greg Joyce with Legacy Retirement suggests of seniors, “Take the time to prioritize what choices and options you are looking for in a retirement community. Is having a continuum of care important, so that as your needs change, your address doesn’t? Are wellness or rehabilitation services a must? Then, once a decision is reached and the move is made, get involved as much or as little as you prefer in the campus activities and social programs. Get to know your new neighbors, and don’t be afraid to ask plenty of questions in order to make your needs known.”
“Do your ‘shopping’ in advance,” Robbie Nathan suggests. “Search online, talk to others, and build a scenario of options for your parents. It is also good to turn to services such as Bridge to Better Living, where representatives will take you and your parents on a tour of living options that are available after meeting with you. And remember, if you’ve seen one assisted living community, you’ve seen one assisted living community. They are all unique. In the ElderCare Resource Handbook from Care Consultants for the Aging, there are ‘tips’ and listings for living options in Lincoln. Remember, there is no such thing as a ‘stupid’ question, especially when it’s your parents.”
“Many communities including Savannah Pines are full with a wait list, so it is very important to start planning ahead of time,” points out Karla Frese. “One way to begin the conversation with your aging loved one is to provide an example of someone you know who has received help and the positive impact it has made. We want to find ways to provide freedom and independence so your loved one can enjoy life and their families can receive peace of mind. Prepare before symptoms begin to show and look at the benefits of Savannah Pines Retirement Community.
Savannah Pines invites you to enjoy entertainment in the theatre. Call and ask if there are any activities or events that you could participate in or observe. This is a relaxing way to have a fun day out and get a tour. It is great when one can say ‘Mom, I went to all of them. Here are my top three I’d love to live in, let’s go see just those.’ When you can narrow it down it is much less overwhelming.”
Sara Engelhaupt concurs with, “Identify what needs the person has. Research and tour various communities that may fit the parents’ needs. Narrow down the choices to just a few and then take the parents to visit those particular communities. Identify the pros and cons of each. Guide them to the right community, but allow the parents to make the decision (when possible). All parties involved will find greater relief when the decision can be made by the family and the individuals.”
Making the Move
Once a decision has been made to transition your loved one or loved ones to a retirement community, the actual process of moving can be one of the most difficult parts.
“Moving or even comprehending a move can be daunting,” explains Darci Roberts with Life’s Next Step. “Moving is an ‘ending’ of the way things have been. Seniors can become confused and overwhelmed just trying to comprehend and prepare for the task at hand. Transitioning to a retirement community should be a very positive experience that is embraced by the senior and their family members, but moving can sometimes make that impossible. We can help with our services that are specifically focused on helping seniors make this transition as easy and worry-free as possible. We provide organizing, planning right-sizing, downsizing, de-cluttering, packing and unpacking services that takes the stress off the shoulders of the senior and those who are helping them with the transition. Visiting with a professional like myself who has a lot of experience in the arena and can offer insight for the journey ahead is a good way to make the process a lot more manageable for everyone involved. As a geriatric nurse for years and now a real estate agent for over 12 years specializing in the SRES age group, I have witnessed the stress of change. I have learned different aspects of clearing the path ahead for all involved and love helping people have a more stress-free move.”
Jason Christensen with Two Men and a Truck adds, “Moving can be stressful if you don’t fully understand what is going on or why a move is necessary. Often, seniors are moving from their home they have lived in for most of their adult lives and in addition, they are likely moving to a much smaller place and will be forced to give up or store many of their items that have a lot of sentimental value and memories wrapped up in them. Two Men And A Truck can help relieve this stress by taking care of everything. We can do all of the packing, moving and even the unpacking. Our guys move quickly but are also patient enough to listen to the concerns of a customer who is in the midst of a very stressful situation.”
Of course, living environment is not the only thing that is associated with healthy aging. There are a number of other factors that impact physical, emotional and social health. Learning how to help your senior loved one with a wide spectrum of issues is the best way to ensure they are living life safely and happily.
Heart Attack and Stroke
Heart attacks and strokes are, unfortunately, a part of life and the odds of them occurring increase as we age. It’s important for the children of aging parents to not only recognize the signs of these potentially fatal events, but also to know what to do if they occur.
“The typical signs of a heart attack are chest pain, especially pain that radiates up into the neck and arms,” explains Patsy Gleim, Director of Cardiovascular Services at Saint Elizabeth Regional Medical Center. “Many elderly people are diabetic, however, and they may not experience chest pain. Instead, they may have shortness of breath or heaviness in their arms. Signs are also usually different with women. They often have heaviness or weakness or pain in the abdomen or a feeling of fullness.
If someone’s parent may be experiencing a heart attacks, it’s vital they call 9-1-1 and not try to bring the individual to the hospital. In Lincoln, we have an excellent system that involves the city of Lincoln Fire & Rescue. They can do an EKG right in the patient’s home and transmit it to the hospital ER where the physician can then notify the cardiology and heart team if they really are having a heart attack. One call to 9-1-1 alerts the entire team and they are either on their way or are already at the hospital when the patient arrives. We don’t have that type of heads up when someone drives to the hospital themselves.
Once a patient arrives, Saint Elizabeth provides exceptional care for those experiencing a heart attack and the children and other family members of seniors can feel comfortable knowing that our team is ready. We track door-to-balloon time (from the time they arrive to the time we get the artery open) as well as ambulance arrival to balloon time. We have strict goals for these times and after every case, we review the situation and see if we could have improved and then take measures to do so. Once the patient has been stabilized and is on the road to recovery, we also excel with our cardiac rehabilitation program. Our cardiac rehabilitation educators meet with them while they are in the hospital and teach them how to make lifestyle changes. They also work with spouses, significant others, children, etc. to bring them into the program and help get them on the path to leading a healthier lifestyle.”
Strokes are another potentially fatal occurrence that children of seniors should be educated about.
The typical signs of a stroke are:
F=Face–ask the person to smile: If one side of the face appears crooked or drooping this person may be having a stroke.
A=Arms–ask the person to lift both of his or her arms in the air–if he or she has difficulty with one arm, this too might be a sign that this person is having a stroke.
S=Speech–ask the person to speak. If his or her words are slurred or they are unable to speak, they might be having a stroke.
T=Time. If any of the above symptoms are present, you must call 9-1-1 immediately in order to make sure that this person reaches the hospital FAST.
“It’s important to realize that stroke is an emergency and every minute counts,” explains Beth Malina with the Saint Elizabeth Stroke Center. “If you think your parent is having a stroke, the same reasoning behind calling 9-1-1 for a heart attack applies–do NOT try to drive them to the hospital yourself. Calling 9-1-1 activates a Stroke Alert system so the team can be on hand once the patient gets here. It’s important that this happens soon as we have a medication we can give for those experiencing a stroke, but it must be given within three hours of when the stroke occurs. This medication breaks up the clot in the brain that causes a stroke and can dramatically limit the debilitating effects of stroke on the body, but it cannot be given after three hours.
We are a Joint Commission Certified Stroke Center, which means we have met specific measures to make sure all our stroke patients receive the highest level of care we can provide. Saint Elizabeth excels in treating stroke and getting the patient the appropriate rehabilitation if they need that.”
Hospice
It’s a fact of life that most of us will have to deal with end-of-life issues with our parents. While this is never an easy situation to face, hospice care can sometimes make the process better for all involved.
“Most people prefer to be with family and friends instead of an institutional setting,” says Curtis Klein with HoriSun Hospice. “We prefer to live out our last days at home-alert and free of pain–this is what a hospice team will try to help the patient and families achieve. Hospice is a supportive home based service, committed to pain and symptom management for individuals with a life limiting illness. The hospice focus is to treat the whole person (body, mind and spirit) and not just the disease. Hospice helps patients remain alert and carry on a symptom-free lifestyle. Hospice affirms the human spirit and allows the patient dignity, comfort, and support when aggressive medicine is no longer desired or appropriate. Hospice supports the entire care-giving unit.
Visits by the hospice team are provided and based on the needs of the individual and family. This includes medications, supplies and equipment related to the life-limiting illness. Routine visits can be provided in private homes, extended care facilities, assisted living and skilled facilities. The hospice team consists of the following disciplines: Physician, Professional Nurses, Hospice Aides, Social Worker, Spiritual Care, Bereavement Care, Massage Therapy, and Volunteers.
Hospice services are available to individuals who have been diagnosed with a life limiting illness and have a desire to receive comfort measures rather than aggressive therapies. The Medicare Guidelines state that individuals are eligible for hospice services if their physician determines that their prognosis is six months or less if the disease takes its normal progression. This is only a guideline, as many people remain on hospice services much longer, provided they continue to meet the Medicare criteria for their illness.
What many people do not realize is that hospice is fully reimbursed by Medicare, Medicaid and most private insurance carriers.
When the time is right, hospice is a wonderful benefit to serve people, loved ones and family at the end of life. Hospice is about living life to the end, not about waiting for the bitter end to life.”
We love our parents and want to help them age as happily, healthfully and safely as possible. We can’t take care of all their needs on our own, but we can help guide them to make the best decisions for themselves and their health. Work with the wonderful resources on eldercare that we have in the area and you will have peace knowing that your senior loved one’s health is in the very best hands.